I met his very best friend. The one he bragged about me to. The one that looks up to him like a brother. Seeing their bond just reassured me that he was an amazing man. Guess what? I was accepted. Silly, right? The whole time I was so nervous about meeting the best friend because I was afraid I wouldn’t live up to his expectations. I was going to meet him and he would put me through a test. Instead, he was wonderful. He did everything to make me feel comfortable and showed me a little into their world. Orlando Bloom- thank you for accepting me.
I’m trying not to be sad. I’m trying not to doubt my worth. I’m trying not to cry.
Another perfect week was coming to an end. I wouldn’t be seeing him for a bit because I get my kids back. Their week with me was ours to spend together. He accepted that. I loved that he is a huge supporter of me and made me believe in myself as a mother. I am a good mom. A damn good one. He even wanted to spend time with the kids and they loved him. I broke so many of my rules to be with him. It was worth it. Our last day together he was distant. I know he has so much going on. So much more than I know or that he wanted to share. I left that day feeling an end coming near. I asked him if he had decided. What is the decision he needed to make? Does he want to be with me or not. He said he hadn’t decided yet. He needs time. Thanked me for being patient and giving it to him. I know- that makes me sound desperate… he either wants to be with me or he doesn’t. Why am I allowing this?
Was he pushing me away so he wouldn’t hurt me by leaving? Or was he pushing me away because he doesn’t want me.